Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
