He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
