why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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