i always forget guys have bellybuttons
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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