Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
