hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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