I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
operation have a gay friend backfired
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
