if i died would you start the facebook group?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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