How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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