and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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