Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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