woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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