so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
