I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
