when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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