So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
