I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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