wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize