I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
