i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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