We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
