it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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