Dual....:-)
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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