The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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