I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
