i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
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No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
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Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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