when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
