I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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