we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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