Your face is a jimmy john
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He did a backflip because drugs
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