I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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