I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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