Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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