Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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