I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
