idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
