so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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