Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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