I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My vagina is officially offended.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
