We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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