those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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