You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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