one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
