You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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