Screwed.edu
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize