this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
