can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
