Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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