Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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