Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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