my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize