i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
COCAINE IS GR8
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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