sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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