I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
