Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
