He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
