i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
