I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
