Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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