whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
